The Battle is Raging!

My Battle is raging, is yours?

Through the last few days, I have come to realize why I battle food and the vicious cycle that has followed me!  I have researched and done some deep thinking, talked with my immediate family, and have come to the realization that I eat WHEN I AM BORED -- MY BATTLE IS RAGING!

A few months ago, I had to take some time off of work for a planned surgery.  While I was in the hospital, my cravings were for any form of solid food, as I was on a liquid diet for the first 48 hours after surgery.  Once I was able to eat solid food, all I wanted was a Diet Coke!  I constantly told whatever family member was with me at the time, what food I wanted, and how badly I wanted it!  Now, this may not seem like eating out of boredom, but it was for me!  I disliked being in the hospital, although I know that the end result of my stay was for the betterment of my health.  I was bored of sitting there with nothing to do, but lay in bed, watch TV, read a magazine, read the Good Book -- but to me, those few things are exactly what my body, and brain, determined as bored!

When my discharge date was delayed due to minor complications, I was saddened, because I was looking forward to my own bed, but I was mad, because I just wanted to drive across the street to the nearest McDonald's for an order of French Fries and a Large Diet Coke!  How sad is that?  Well, once I was finally discharged, we drove across the street for those 2 very things, my order of French Fries and a LARGE Diet Coke!

The next few months were the actual truth to my battle.  What do you do after surgery?  Recuperate!  In my house, my family (husband and 2 grown children), would not let me lift a finger, and when they couldn't be with me, they ordered help -- let me insert here that I am VERY thankful for all of my friends -- but between my family and friends, what did I do?  I sat around, watching TV, reading magazines, reading my Bible, sometimes conversation, but for the most part -- boredom!  I gained about 15 lbs. during that time, I was sedentary, due to restrictions while I recuperated, and then all the food that my church family brought to help us through this time.  I ate, and ate, and ate!

I returned to work after 10 weeks of recuperation, only to be let go after working 9 days back at the office, the office that I called my home away from home for 3 years.  I didn't eat while I was stressed, so, as long as I kept myself busy during the day, sending out resumes, going on interviews, cleaning and organizing my house, I didn't eat!  From the day of my release until the day I started my new position I have lost 12 of the previous 15 lbs. that I gained.  Now I am back to my original, heavier than I was when I delivered my second and last child, weight -- ready to make a change.

New year, new goals, new Ministry to follow (Proverbs 31 Ministries), and just a few weeks into 2014, a new job - PRAISE GOD!  Small goals have been set, one step at a time!  I am #EMPOWERED through the Bible Study that I have spoke of, Made To Crave,  and I am taking one day at a time to conquer the raging battle that I have faced in the past!  All my past is gone!  With the love and support of my family -- I am making changes to my thinking!